Dead
Stricken
Frozen 
Still
Caught in the hustle of life
Swept along like a dust bunny
Not knowing who's to trust
 

Liars
Weepers
Beggars
Sinners
All to whom are familiar
All to whom I've crossed paths with

Who am I to blame for this?
For the misery 
The darkness
The heavy burden I carry
They are attracted to my body 
Sucking the life out of me
Laying waste among and in my veins
They mix with my hot
Steamy tears

I wish to stop
But it becomes apart of me
It grows until it is natural; a routine; a dictator
The time for blood draws closer
There's a fearful path I shall take
Layed down by my destiny
And torn between two halfs
Once believing to wrongs make a right
I was stricken with a dreadful choice
To go with my gut
Temptation
Or by heart
To none I wish to trust

For once in time they had done it
Years back
To the days of childhood
To cliques
And fitting in
Where my innocent mind still roamed
Feeling sweet freedom
For the first time
Choosing the unwise
Lost in a tail of redemption
Of addiction
A cyclops on the loose
Uncaged and wild beyond imaginable
A terrorizer
 

Steering me out of control
The terrorizer waits to spring
Until he who is pure can come
For only he can tame this beast
A burden that has been held tightly to my sole

Goodbye!
Goodbye!
I wish to say
But even after he is gone
And defeated
He learns to become sly
He quietly creeps into my dreams

The feels of nightmares
Screams
Sweating
His presence still lays
Deep in my mind
Like a raging fire

Then there's guilt he brings upon me
Till I kneel
Willing to be one
Like him
A beggar
A weeper
A liar 
A sinner
Soon he will get to all 
All who are abusers
And we will all learn to except it

For if I had only know when I was young
If I would have listened to their warnings
I wouldn't be here today
Sucking lifeless air away
Through tubes jabbed into my nostrils

I wouldn't be here
Worrying about catching even the slightest
Littlest cold
Which could take my last breaths away 
Before I'd know it

No!
If I would have listened
I would be here today
Living successfully
Happily
Healthy
And not alone

But look at me
I waste the days away
Sitting on my white, old, screechy rocking chair
Watching the children play
As my white scraggly hair sways with the wind
Remembering when I once had family
A wife
A son
A daughter
And grandchildren

But now I am all alone
An empty heart
In an empty 
Cruel world