They say when one door closes another one opens.

Well, then why is every door I go through one door I can’t get through the next one? 

Why can’t I go back as others do? 

I’m forever stuck and I can’t get out. 

I’ve been trying for so long to get through any door at this point, but I’m stuck and I’m stuck good. 

I know there is a door there, it’s just invisible or maybe I’m just blind..?

I want out, I want to be happy just like you are. 

I want what you have; a happy life no worries, someone who asks you if you’re okay when you’re even the slightest bit sad. 

I envy you. I envy so many of you and don’t even seem to realize it. Why?

I tried so hard to fit in and pretend to be happy for you. 

In the end that’s all, I was doing, pretending to be happy so you could think everything is perfect. 

When in all reality it’s not!! 

I fight every day just to put on a smile and fake everything you see and think is happy, it’s a lie. 

You must be used to those by now coming from me, right? 

The lies that leave my mouth, after all, there are thousands upon thousands of them, some I hide well I guess and others I don’t…

Or maybe the ones you figured out I wanted you to figure them out. 

After a while, too many lies and you feel a little overwhelmed.

It’s not like I can’t handle feeling overwhelmed, it's just that I got too tired and I couldn’t take it anymore… 

I’m sorry for this I truly am…