Silence Is Golden

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My mouth goes dry and my throat closes up

People wonder if I am mute

But the truth is I have nothing to say

I don’t want to talk nor do I have anything to speak of

Yet people look at me with such confusion

Dub me “The Girl That Doesn't Talk Much”

They whisper behind my back, stare at me like an animal at the zoo

Calling me strange as I sit in the back with a book in my hands

Sticking gum in my hair, point and stare, sit a few seats away from me

Under the table, I clench my fist, my muscles tighten and I grind my teeth

Yet I say nothing

I shall bare this abuse and ridicule and turn the other cheek

I won’t give in to this cruelty

I won’t say anything because you don’t deserve to hear anything from me

And when I do speak, it is never to your standings

When I speak of intelligence and reason, you call me a ‘loser’

When I refuse to say vulgarities, you call me ‘weird’

When I say things like ‘neat’ or ‘lovely’, you call me ‘strange’

Biting my tongue, I won’t say another word

Years go by and I still say nothing

Even as the abuse stays and people reject me

As I lock myself in my room, my parents don’t even bother

As my cousins also look at me with the eyes my abusers had

“Why won’t you speak?”

“Say something!”

“Why are you so quiet?”

“You’re not gonna have any friends if your mouth is shut.”

“Can you say anything?”

I take in a deep breath and part my lips:

“Do you deserve anything?”

Living in this world, I've learned one thing,

You can never make everyone happy

I once believed that if I stay quiet

And stay in line, you weren't a bother

If you were in the way, you were disappointing someone

If you spoke too much, you became an annoyance

But even as I did what I was told:

Quiet, still and obedient

I was still considered a ‘weirdo’

I've done everything I’I've been told and received nothing in return

So here I am, quiet as ever before

Maybe my silence has nothing to do with others

Perhaps I chose silence

As a way to find my own peace

In this world so chaotic and full of noise

So now here I am

Of legal age and my own person

So what do I say now?

What is there to say?

My answer is simple:

“Silence is golden,

So shut the fuck up!”

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