Sickness

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I don't know what I'm feeling right now

Is it love?

Is it hate?

Depression? Fear?

Whatever the hell it is, can you tell it to go away?

All its flopping and uncoiling in my stomach is making me sick

Sick of being sick.

Maybe by explaining it, it will go away.

I don't know.

I seem to be caught between two wheels

And both are grinding me to pieces

I've talked about it, thought about it,

Nothing seems to help

This aching in my heart and this twisting in my gut

Whatever I do, it doesn't go away.

Every day I'm reminded of what i don't have.

Every day it's harder to keep my chin up

To keep my fasade unphased.

One day, I'll get fed up, and upchuck my sanity.

The little I have left

Maybe when that happens that little wriggling snake will leave with it

And I'll be home free

Just me without my sanity

Just me without the jealousy, the tears, and the pain

 

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