Sick Girl's Lament

As much as I wish I could be UNstoppable

There’s no way that could ever happen

Because my immune system is my obstacle

You want me to have perfect attendance?

Tell that to my white blood cells they won’t hear you

Every March, August, and December it seems like

When you get news of a new breakthrough

You can call me but it won’t make a difference

 

My nyquil dreams don’t have you in them

Although fever dreams don’t make much sense

Every night every spare chance I get I succumb

To that blessed blankness where my brain can be bare

Haunted only by the persistent brain waves keeping me alive

Telling me “hey you should breathe now”

“Remember this forget that put this in the archive”

But it seems like nightly something topples the balance

 

Since I can’t seem to remember the ways you hurt me

Or recall your favorite song, or my mother’s favorite color

Maybe, just maybe I might be losing it by some degree

Well, it’s a 3 pound weight off my shoulders

Now the I only have to keep track of my hormones,

Drugs I’m taking, my weight, my eyes, my height

Any thyroid issues? History of cancer in your bones?

All answered in a blue ink pen with a flower on top

 

Because the worst thing about being constantly ill

Is depending on people in the worst of times.

I’d much rather depend on robot surgeons or Advil

Instead of you.

  

This poem is about: 
Me

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