Sick.

i'm sick.

But the stigma stops me from seeking assistance
The black hole in my chest rages with much persistence 
I wish that I could distance
 
my self from my family
So when I explode
There will be no other casualties 
 
Casually I lie
Telling them I'm fine
Expertly I hide
Those red parallel lines
 
I'm always paying the fines
I always am at fault
For not keeping my mouth shut
Just as I was taught
 to
 
I lost you 
back in 08
Back when I was being filled with all this damn self hatred
Lacking patience 
For recovery
Praying to the stars
Hoping that they can recover me
I'm under deep
Afraid that there's no hope
That there's no love for me
I'm scared to breathe
All day asleep
 
I'm too afraid to wake up
There is beauty in death
No need to bury me in makeup 
 
 

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