I was very excited in what we could be.

I even made sure my hair was fly

Pants fitted, and make-up just right

When you would see me.

I enjoyed your jokes

I looked forward to your words

I genuinely liked you

Aesthetic matters didn't really matter

I didn't even mind our pigmentation differentiation

You gave so much hope to a hopeless situation,

as myself.

I would've withdrew if it weren't for you.

I'm prolly gettin' to deep;

but, I'd prolly stop trying if it weren't for you.

But one day as I walk to class full of joy,

I heard your voice and some other chick's noise.

I look up and find the you of my dreams

Holding hands with --the her, of my saddest nightmare.

Instantly, I felt my heart freeze

Shattered in a million pieces

I couldn't believe this

Seeing someone that I wanted oh so badly,

Holding hands with little miss perfect, --sadly..

So, what does all this mean to me?

I could run home again and cry

Holding the pillow over my face

Until I run out of tears and emotions.

I could numb the pain, by sleeping into a coma.

But what would any of this accomplish?

I'd still be the vulnerable, passive, single, female

with insecurity issues..

So.

I nod politely at him and his lover as they pass by.

I speak to him only when spoken to.

I become numb & shatter-proof

to any and all matters of heartfelt emotions.

No longer will I love without being loved in returned.

No longer will I crush on anymore guys

whom in the long run only end up crushing

my heart.

Say I'm overreacting,

say I'm this,

say I'm that.

But I swear,

I will never let any other guys

innocently till proven guilty,

break my heart.