I was very excited in what we could be.
I even made sure my hair was fly
Pants fitted, and make-up just right
When you would see me.
I enjoyed your jokes
I looked forward to your words
I genuinely liked you
Aesthetic matters didn't really matter
I didn't even mind our pigmentation differentiation
You gave so much hope to a hopeless situation,
I would've withdrew if it weren't for you.
I'm prolly gettin' to deep;
but, I'd prolly stop trying if it weren't for you.
But one day as I walk to class full of joy,
I heard your voice and some other chick's noise.
I look up and find the you of my dreams
Holding hands with --the her, of my saddest nightmare.
Instantly, I felt my heart freeze
Shattered in a million pieces
I couldn't believe this
Seeing someone that I wanted oh so badly,
Holding hands with little miss perfect, --sadly..
So, what does all this mean to me?
I could run home again and cry
Holding the pillow over my face
Until I run out of tears and emotions.
I could numb the pain, by sleeping into a coma.
But what would any of this accomplish?
I'd still be the vulnerable, passive, single, female
with insecurity issues..
I nod politely at him and his lover as they pass by.
I speak to him only when spoken to.
I become numb & shatter-proof
to any and all matters of heartfelt emotions.
No longer will I love without being loved in returned.
No longer will I crush on anymore guys
whom in the long run only end up crushing
Say I'm overreacting,
say I'm this,
say I'm that.
But I swear,
I will never let any other guys
innocently till proven guilty,
break my heart.