Seventeenth Year

This year was one

That I wish I didn't have to endure

Pelting on me like hail from

An angry sky

Problems entered my life

Left and right

But I can’t say that I haven’t learned

Or that I didn't grow

There were just a lot of things that I wished

I didn't have to know

 

I was so angry in January

So much too myself

I socialized with little to no one

I felt better alone and in a bed filled with wealth

Rich Fuzzy blankets and golden sleep ensured

A place to take me away from my depression and

Things I didn't want to endure.

 

My mom left in February

And with her

My motivation to succeed

My grades worsened and

I saw my health concede.

Living with my father

Is a terrible plight.

He’s never had to parent before

All he knew how to do was fight .

 

The winter got as cold

As my acquaintances heart

As we presented a project at a conference

And she believed

That I was too black

To be successful at my part.

I had never seen the realities of society

Put in my face before.

It’s ugly and hurtful,

It shook me to my core.

 

Then betrayal came with the spring

In the Student government elections

Teenage girls,

Evil and mean

They wanted to tear down my legacy

To run a program to which they had never been.

That summer

 I tried to make right

Tried to fall in love

Tried to live a good life

 

But you should never try to fill voids with boys

Trust me,

You’ll end up more hurt

And bruised than before

You’ll end up doing things

You would’ve seen as horror.

My self-esteem was in shambles

And leaving was so difficult.

I didn't even think I deserved liberation

From the clutches of Lucifer.

 

Yet that summer

Something’s did go right

I got a job

A few internships

And I took a hold of my life.

 

I entered senior year

With a mindset to win.

I was coming for everything

I had put my blood in.

I wanted to see it to the end.

 

Yet I was still haunted,

And In the back of my mind,

Alone.

I really wished for a time to be on my own.

I find comfort at 3am

With soft music and subtle light

Tears that flow like rushing rivers

 Getting rid of the pain of life.

 

In the heat of the day

I run my school as the President

And I submit college applications

I go to meetings and learn

How to make the world a better place.

I paint a smile

And I push out a laugh

Just to help me forget about my past.

 

I learned that love

Is not tempered by distances

It is kept at bay by effort.

I learned that people

Will see the light in your flame

And be envious enough to wet it.

I learned that endurance

And adaptations are essential

During eras of strife.

I’ve always known that you must work

For your accomplishments

And struggle comes early

In this life.

This poem is about: 
Me

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