Self-reflection is a rocky road. 

Sometimes ignorance truly is 

bliss, but I am not sure if I would 

rather be poisoned and unaware, 

or enraged, fighting tooth and 

nail. Even though I am not fighting 

tooth and nail- I am far too afraid. 

Far too nervous. Some people 

may even say I am a coward, 

but is it considered weak to 

want to stay alive? 

 

You know it is rough when your 

therapist is just trying to help 

you stay sane until the end. Till 

freedom is somewhat guaranteed- 

I say somewhat, because there 

are a few people who believe 

they are still entitled to my time 

when I will be hours away. That 

they can dictate what I will want 

to do with my future- they force 

themselves into a picture I have 

not even started to paint yet. 

 

There is a line connecting us 

that I do not want to sever, but 

I just want a few more feet of 

length so I can finally stretch 

and move around . Give me 

some more rope- anything, please. 

Growing up is taking steps away 

from each other, but I have 

only been allowed mere mere inches 

after all of these years. And 

now you want to try and push 

me far away? To shove me off 

of thisis cliff? 

 

You give me gifts of so called 

independence, yet I have this 

rising anxiety that the separation 

is merely a thin piece of paper 

between us. Like an overflowing 

ER, where we are on beds next 

to each other with nothing but 

a tied up curtain separating us. 

Why are you even in this ER? I am 

suffering from a panic induced 

heart attack, and you are stabbing 

yourself in the chest with a syringe 

just so you can complain. 

 

You are taking up much needed 

space and help from other people 

who desperately need it, because 

you cannot stand to be more 

than an arms length away from 

my side. I cannot seek help 

without your hand on my shoulder 

or your blood on my hands 

because if you are there, if you 

are hurting, I cannot tell the truth. 

I cannot put the blame on you. 

It is cruel to rest blame on such a 

poor soul. 

 

You are the only one who is 

allowed to be both poor and greedy- 

You are are the only one who can 

be both a thief and a victim. And I? 

I am the one who you steal from. 

I am the one who keeps getting 

mugged from inside the house.