Self-Inflicted Prison

Wed, 03/06/2019 - 20:51 -- stairs

When social anxiety

Held me hold and firm

Away from dreams and silent simple wishes

Asking for help when I needed it most

Seemed inferable riches of gold and silver

 

And I sat by, shadowy and secluded

Unaware of the abse my brain confined me to

It would tell me things that weren’t true
I would believe it and sink deeper into a hole

Of self-loathing and fear

Of myself

 

And at the feeble age of 14

Weak and growing

I decided to subside no more

I was sick of hurting

I had had enough of my invisible enemy

I was tired of the fear of someone thinking less of me

For doing something as simple as asking a question

 

I was done

 

With medication

And therapy

And aid from my closest friends and family

I slowly

Begrudgingly

And damn near terrified

Opened a door to someone new

 

Something unknown

But something so desired

What I wanted more than anything in the world

 

Was to not be afraid to speak.

 

And years later

I am here

And I am me

And I’m not afraid to ask for help

 

Or order food

Or compliment someone

Or tell my mom I love her

Or say that I enjoyed something

Or tell the truth

Or make someone laugh

 

I’m not afraid

I’m not afraid to be human

 

 

And I could never explain to you

 

How proud I am of me.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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