Self Depiction



It eats at you.

Eats, and eats until every last bit of self preservation, and self will,

Is chipped away and long forgotten.

It makes you remember, but never forget.

It drags you down roads that you quickly get lost on,

Never able to find the right direction, never finding your way out.

Pulls you under water, drowns you in a numb inducing cold pit of water,

Full of self loathing, and sadness.

Never letting up in pity.

Constantly prodding at you like a hot poker.

You try desperately to quickly build up walls to block it all out.

But see, as quickly as you put them up,

It just as quickly breaks them down.

Constantly trying to get you to break, and let go.

To free yourself of all the pain, or lack there of.

It tells you to give up, that its not worth it.

Weakens you, shortens your happiness and lengthens your sadness.

It picks, and picks.

Until all your left with is

Red wrists or empty bottles. 

It feeds on your weaknesses, laughs at you as you fall deeper and deeper.

Until you're at the bottom, and that's when it stops.

When it knows, and you know,

There is no where else to go.

Nothing left to do but give in.

Because it knows you crave that relieved breath.

But, you can't consider it losing.

Because, in a sense you have won.

You have finally let go and rid it from your insides.

And as you climb back up, and rebuild and rekindle,

You laugh at it because,

You have won.

You have fought the darkness.

And finally found the light,

You did it, alone, found the right direction.

You have put yourself back together.

You have won. 


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