Searching For The Infinity: A Letter and A Reply

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Searching For The Infinity: A Letter

Dear old friend,

I knew you as a child. 

Pure, beautiful, and untainted then. 

You were the feeling in my guts as I jumped 

from the swing into the sand, 

as I rolled down the steep hill, 

as I conversed with my imaginary friend,

as I laughed until I cried, 

made me feel I could do and be anything. 

When I felt you, 

I felt like 

earth, 

water, 

air, 

I felt like nothing.  

A rare and unmatched type of freedom. 

But somewhere in between then and now,

 sadly, 

you have departed from me since. 

I searched through time for you, here and there. 

I believed I felt you in spirits and wines, 

colorful clouds and full lungs. 

I could've sworn I saw you then. 

I considered you hiding under the tingle of a potent song,

how emotional is music,

for you must be there!

But the notion never lingered,

for when the melodies and harmonies end, 

so does the feeling.

I ran through a city of glass, 

probing desperately for your existence, 

but instead only saw reflections of myself. 

I searched for you in pain, 

breaking those mirrors monstrously, 

using the leftovers to breach thick layers of skin. 

But all I saw there was a bleeding, 

a stinging, 

a scabbing, 

and a stale mark, 

that still left me no clue to your where abouts. 

In the bluest of midnights I try and conjure you up, 

memories of your marvelous presence, 

causing me to mangle bed sheets and pillows. 

And in the grayest of mournings, 

your remembrance leaves me 

lone

and unsettled. 

I began to think you must be God, 

how you vastly love your innocent, little children, 

but as we mature you depart,

leaving us to learn for ourselves 

with only a memory of what once was you. 

You are practically unattainable now, 

your existence being detected by very few. 

The only place I have not searched 

is beyond what I will ever know, 

until the time has come. 

But dear friend,

I am getting desperate.

 

Discovering The Infinity: A Reply

Oh, dear friend!

Your love for me is a ferocious and unconditional one. 

You feel we have been apart for an eternity, 

yet you still search for me

in all that exists.

But you are so ignorant of my ways. 

I exist betwixt 

time, 

and space, 

and flesh, 

don't you see? 

You will not find me

in the earth, 

the water,

the air, 

or the flame 

of this world.

Nor am I hiding beneath any magical note or passionate song. 

No cloud you could intake,

nor potion you can consume 

will bring me any closer to you. 

You mistakenly look for me in tangibility 

and I am not concrete. 

You must see beyond,

beyond normal boundaries that most accept by convention. 

I am beyond limits,

beyond parameters. 

Oh beautiful creature! 

You must know that I have never left you! 

I have been with you since the beginning of your time. 

I was born inside you 

and have aged with you. 

Before the maturity of your life you felt me

 so acutely,

you were bare. 

No lust, gluttony, greed, anger, or depression. 

Insecurity, judgement, and prejudice was foreign to you then. 

You were naked of complexity,

primitive. 

My beautiful creature,

you must know

I am you. 

You are the infinity. 

You are not simply flesh, 

blood,

and bone. 

You do not stop at fingertips or toes. 

You are cosmic, 

don't you see?

One day you will come to know the beauty of my obscure ways. 

One day you will find me. 

One day you will be naked again, 

and what you feel will be so consuming, 

the time we spent apart will feel like 

mere nothing 

compared to that moment. 

You have only yet to tap into your vastness,

and until that moment,

I can no longer expound,

you must feel.

Comments

SydneyTee

Written by me, some time ago...

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