School and Social Anxiety

Location

As I walk into school,

I feel everyone’s eyes on me

They burn holes through my skin,

And their glances pierce my stomach

I feel the nausea set in

It will last all day

 

I hear laughter behind me

Oh god, is there something on my pants?

Do they think my outfit is stupid?

Or am I just too fat?

 

In English class we take turns reading

The teacher calls on me

But my hands are sweating

And my body is shaking

And I can barely breathe

The words on the page start to blur and jumble

I sit there until she calls on someone else

Some other people snicker

 

Lunch times comes around, but I don’t eat

There’s no way I can keep an appetite in such a crowded noisy place

The smell of the food makes me want to throw up;

So I slip off to the library,

And I curl up in a corner chair until it’s over

 

We’re supposed to give a speech in History today

I just skip the class all together

I can’t go through with it

30 students all staring at me

Watching as I start to shake and cry

 

So I walk on home

Where I run to my room,

And curl up in my bed

I pull the blankets all around me

I cry, and I cry, and I cry

And I wish, and I wish, and I wish

That I will never have to go back to school again

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