When I was younger, the word was foreign
I knew of toys and candyland, monopoly and littlest pet shops
As I grew older, the word became a faint whisper
because at that time, my oldest sister was going to college.
Her boyfriend went to Longwood University
and she went wherever her heart took her.
Once I got to highschool, that word was everywhere
but never where I needed it.
It flowed in the mouths of the seniors I knew, the mouths of very few teachers and staff
But never out of the counselors when we were young
it never came out of a freshman, sophomore, or even a junior's mouth.
As a senior in high school now, scholarships are all I think about
Money, debt, college, and my future
it all revolves around scholrships because I don't want to end up in debt
and I don't want my parents to end up that way either.
So looking back at it, I wish my counselor would have told me to look sooner
Or my parents or teachers
I wish I would've had money saved up for my college expenses
I wish my parents would have let me work sooner, get my license sooner, done everything faster.
I wish my past was slightly altered
but for now, I have to slowly suffer in silence
as I stay up at night looking for scholarships and applying for jobs,
and dream of the money I don't have
to pay for the future I want to have
instead of growing up having to settle for less, living paycheck to paycheck.