i can’t beg,
i can’t cry,
i can’t even wish—
and i don’t know why.

my heart’s painted black
from these constant lies;
the “no”s you tell
cut deeper each time.

it’s not that i never tried,
but those faces, those eyes,
made me fall behind.

the sky is dark,
the night is quiet,
and no,
i don’t wanna die—
but i can’t find a point,
and i’m scared
to stay alive.
                  -xuelie