For the Sake of Obscurity (A Letter to Myself)

Mon, 02/09/2015 - 16:35 -- abhakta


To my Older Self,

Remember when you wanted to be included in the adult conversations?

You used to walk dejectedly back to the kids’ corner,

only half-listening to the arguments there.

I bet you’ve figured out now

that the adults really didn’t have anything to say

they filled the silences with laughter

and the pauses with sips of chardonnay.

I never liked the smell of wine on Mom’s breath,

I hope you don’t like it on yours.

Remember when you used to worry about college and essays?

What do you worry about now? Mortgages, Finances, Death?

Maybe it’s regrets, I hear that a lot now,

mostly from counselors, parents, even friends.

Do we still have the same friends?

Or did you lose them?  Maybe they were left behind with me.

Do you have children? A career?

Do you still take vacations with Mom and Dad?

They’re really into talking about my future,

don’t they know that’s exactly what I’m doing? HA!

So, how is my future? Is it everything they wanted it to be?

If I’m being honest, I guess this is the future I want. Sort of.

Well it’s the only one I can imagine, for now.

See, I can imagine the endpoint from my starting point,

but I just can’t imagine the path.

I can’t see how I get from point A to point B, from me to you.

So can you give me a sign, a hint, anything?

I guess I shouldn’t hold my breath, huh?

But just in case, I’ll keep my fingers crossed.


                                                 your Younger Self


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