Revolution is for Wallflowers

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i
am  not big
and i
am slow to speech
i spend my nights alone
forging plans for better days
because i am a wallflower.

wallflowers are unassuming
agents of change.
the movement is not for us
we are left behind.
we are the kids in closets
the kids scared to rock the boat
the kids trying to stay alive
but still we change

i am wisteria and i am honeysuckle
growing on the dilapidated buildings in rural NC.
everyone has moved on
onto marches and rallies, to petitions and presentations
but still i remain. because, you see
my roots are strong.
they grow into the soil generations before me grew into
marched on
created change on.

i once knew how to create change
even as i stuttered through a slew of spanglish
i stood by my immigrant friends,
held signs and encouraged voting,
attended meetings and led trainings.

i am wisteria and i am honeysuckle
and maybe i wasn't left behind
maybe i left
to create my own space
to look tired and lonely from car windows
to create spaces safe for the rest who are left behind
that is okay.

it is okay because i did not stop creating  change
i did not stop supporting my friends or signing petitions
i just now do it with my roots planted firmly, sprawling wildly
covering dying buildings because i am not here to make things perfect.
i am a wallflower because i am here to make things beautiful
i grow with the warmth of summer suns and the promise of spring.
when i begin to forget hope, to forget anything but stagnation

i remember that i am beautiful
i am wisteria and i am honeysuckle
wallflowers are not here to be the face of the movement
we are here for spring when we can unfurl ourselves
in showers of lavander and yellow flowers
we do not fix problems but we change the view
we block visions of toxic traditions
instead giving others a view of green vines and flowers of hope.

so march on, shout at capitols and change laws.
i will be behind
on the lightpoles
guiding change and being a reminder
that kind and delicate flowers
change things too.
 

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