Alarm rings;

It’s time to wake up.

I view myself in the mirror.

Why can’t I look better?

 

My head is a war zone.

The thoughts pierce me.

I stumble;

I fall.

 

A ceasefire is agreed,

But not peace.

Another thought;

Another wound. 

 

My jeans fit tighter today;

I need to eat less.

My thighs are widening.

I look disgusting.

The trigger is pulled;

I fall.

 

Distorted vision of beauty.

I am told I am beautiful,

But my stretch marks tell me otherwise. 

I am not worthy.

 

I am love, and I am beauty.

Yet why do I fail to love myself?

Why am I not beautiful?

 

Another day; another battle.

Who will win? 

I don't like this picture

Look at my double-chin; look at my face.

I stumble. 

 

I keep going.

Keep pretending I’m fine.

A rain of bullets.

Just keep going. 

 

But I cannot go on.

My soul is aching,  

And I can’t take another blow.

I cry; I scream.

Enough!

 

I am not a slave to these thoughts.

I refuse to be a prisoner of this war.

I raise the olive branch;

I remove the chains. 

 

I am love and beauty.

I am a goddess; I will not surrender.

A bullet is fired,

But I deflect it. 

 

A rebirth of self;

I arise from the depths of the sea.

I am the pearl, not the shell.

I let go; I am free.