The Rebirth

sticks and stones may break my bones but my thoughts will fucking kill me

depression is like living in a body that tries to survive with a mind that tries to die

yet, every time you ask how I’m doing?, my response is always “I’m fine”

it scares me how much i think about going for a walk and never coming home.

how willing i am to leave everything i have and everyone i know.

honestly what's more deadly, a gun or a thought?

a gun gives you the opportunity but a thought pulls the trigger.

you can try with all your might to suppress it but it keeps growing bigger.

and i can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim.

they still however wear the floaties in bright colors with lights, bells and whistles so that no matter how far back they seem to drift out of view i can still feel their presence.

depression is pouring your heart out to a sheet of paper and still fearing judgment in case someone reads it.

when you can’t accept a compliment because you feel like you’re being lied to 

and no one will ever understand how you’re feeling besides you.

depression is watering flowers that are already dead.

not being able to physically get up out of bed, 

being held hostage inside your house, inside of your own head.

Have you ever felt like you were never meant to be happy?

like in a past life you murdered and dismembered an entire family

the panic attack is happening again and like Eric I .can’t .breathe. 

i CAN'T breathe

i can't BREATHE

it's a 300 pound man sitting on my chest saying fuck your breath.

it's like you're screaming and no one can hear, reaching out for someone who cares but no ones there

Insomnia came to visit and she brought friends.

she showed up uninvited and i didn’t want to let her in.

i didn't have to,she had the spare key which was only supposed to be used in case of emergency.

i don’t remember looking for a message in the bottom of that  bottle

i just took a couple pills to help me sleep cuz Its already after 3 but she won’t leave.

i need to lay down cuz i feel a little dizzy

 1 sheep 2 sheep red fish , blue fish. code blue

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