The reason we stand tall

I live in fear every day that someone can walk into my bar and shoot me up.

Here we have established a gay bar, a safe space, for people like us to reside in peace.

Orlando changed that.

The government did nothing.

They passed on wishes and whatever, but didn’t recognize that shooting for what it was: an act of terror and now I live in fear. 

You know, I would love it if I could take a drink without worrying about some guy shooting up my bar and I’m too intoxicated to save every underage kid who snuck in from being killed.

I can see the headlines now! “Old guy gets kids drunk and irresponsibly gets white gays killed!” 

Like holy shit! That is dark!

Ya know and- and senators would make a BS speech about how this will shape the nature of our country and how we need to move past this. Then he won’t give us any help.

You know if my bar was destroyed, I doubt I would get federal aid to repair it.

It took me 6 years to set this place up.

6 years.

The government hates gays, I swear to god! All of this bureaucratic BS and for what?! Me serving drinks to the same 15 people every night singing karaoke and Cher? Nah, the government hates us! 

You know, I remember the days following Pulse. Journalists were going around to gay bars in the area and asking us how we felt. And I laughed in their face! You know to be rejected or attacked is one thing, but to feel terrorized. Words can’t even explain it. But politicians try to find the words and they twist them and twist them until…. there’s nothing substantial behind what we say

 

I’m only joking, I’m joking!

You know but umm, before I had this bar, I had a boyfriend. WHat can I say, I traded up! I’m joking, I’m joking…. I’m not joking.

His name was Lee. He was tall and cute and I loved him. I loved him.

It took 13 minutes and 46 seconds for him to be ripped away from me forever. He was brutally beaten and killed outside of a gay bar in atlanta. I blame myself because I wasn’t with him and his killer got away.His killer was found but was given 5 years because he was an accessory to the murder when he was the only one there! 

 

And you know it’s not even these people committing the hate crimes, it’s the people we have in office, doing nothing. All of these people say that gay kids have come so far, that we can finally be accepted, as if we are some anomaly needing to be solved. We are not a Rubik’s cube for the white Washington whores to displace. When we elect homophobes to office, part of us cripples. We elect people who do nothing for us and they turn us into their epidermal talking points like we dont matter—but I thought All Lives Mattered Donald?

 

Trump said gay Marriage was a sin and implied that god hates gays, Mike Pence supports conversion therapy to turn me straight, The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 in favor of marriage equality, should’ve been 9-0, so tell me that intertwining these people within our political instititutions doesnt create homophobia, tell me that-

 

We are Phoenix, rising from the flames of stonewall and the black mothers who nurtured our movement with nipples of justice, milk of war. We are not a bundle of twigs set aflame, we are the spark that will ignite a war. So tell me right now that we dont matter, tell me that we dont deserve rights? Tell me that right now

 

And no one did anything to help me. I always think that this shit happens all the time, but hate-crime after hate-crime there is nothing being done to stop it. These people do nothing for us, they do nothing for us but But still, there is hope. Elect the people we want to see in office. Elect our human rights back into office and speak up for those who are too afraid to speak up for themselves because joe biden is a pebble compared to the boulders of change we need. Hold them accountable and make them help us. Do this for them, do this for us, do this for me.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community
My country
Our world

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