Everyone says that change is hard
However necessary to sustain life.
It takes persistence when your way is barred.
It takes diligence and a bit of strife.
The words they say don’t say it fully.
Change is not always just about mental vigor.
In order to embrace it wholly,
It takes more than just some rigor.
Sometimes it takes pieces of your soul
Straight out of your innermost places.
It takes wondering if you’ll ever be whole
Or if you just another one of those lost cases.
It takes nearly submitting yourself to the fact
That you are the lowliest filth on the earth.
It takes being too terrified to act.
It takes misjudging your own worth.
It takes hiding your violent emotional blight
So that others won’t see that awful fear.
It takes crying on your floor at night
Quietly so nobody will hear.
It takes trying to get everyone to like you
In hopes that at least one person will.
It takes doing what you're asked to do
All the while feeling like you’re swimming uphill.
It takes looking at that pocket knife in your hand
Wishing your pain could be manifest on your skin.
Then you set it back on your nightstand
Knowing that that’s not the way to win.
It takes begging God with tears in your eyes
To take away your self-inflicted pain.
It takes remembering when you were a bit more wise
And had the world to gain.
And during all this, it takes not losing sight
Of your true and living goal
To find yourself and do what’s right
And finally, take control.
It takes being at your very worst
And still not giving everything up.
For though time cannot be reversed
Hope can overcome any holdup.
So when they say that change is rough
And takes a bit of persistence,
What they say is true enough
But words and reality often stand at a distance.