When I was younger,

I used to think that 

our teenage years would be

different. 

I thought we'd all be happy 

and have boyfriends.

But in reality,  

we're all depressed.

And I'm gay.

When I was younger,

I used to think that panic attacks were 

just the things that those girls running from the killers had,

in those movies we used to watch about those girls running from the killers. 

But in reality, 

panic attacks are things that happen in the car 

on the way home from my mom's house.

And now,

we're the killers.

Destroying ourselves. 

When I was younger, 

I used to think that paper cuts were the only cuts we would ever get.

But in reality, paper isn't the only thing we cut ourselves with.

And this time, these cuts aren't accidents. 

And nobody knows what to do.

When I was younger,

I used to think that highschool would be the best thing ever.

But in reality, grades are making us lose sight of our values.

And words whispered in the cafeteria can equal death.

Death of your best friend's big sister. 

On her birthday. 

When I was younger,

I used to think the most emotionally scarring thing

was probably the loss of my hamster.

But in reality, it's probably that night I lost my sense of safety.

Against my will.

I'll never get that back. 

We don't know what we're doing.

And we rock in our showers,

rocking like "someone save me."

But in reality,

they can't.