I imagined what it would be like to tell you all this over the phone and although I know your number by heart and you told me you'd always answer my calls i just couldn't bring myself to do it.
 The truth is fuck I love you and I cry in the shower and I cry in bed 
I cry in the kitchen, hell I even cry while walking down the street.
There's this ache and this pain that won't go away.
I'm tired of it fuck I really am.
I always hope to find you years from now when both our lives are calm.
 When my dad can't tell me who to hang around. Or when my mom can't tell me to stop sulking in sadness.
I don't want to wait around for you but it seems like my heart is winning this war between love and pride.
I'm gonna move far away.
I'm gonna have everything I ever wanted with you but with someone better.
I'm gonna write my side of the story and make sure it becomes a best seller.
Fuck I'm gonna fall in love with the right person at the right time.
I'll have the life I wanted with you. But I'll have it without you.
You are a toxic. You are a drug. I'm tired of overdosing.
I want to be able to breathe again.
 I want to be able to live without thinking about if you're doing well. 
You know what? I don't want to care about you. In fact I want you to realize what you've thrown away.
They've always said "Don't lose a diamond trying to pick up a rock"
That's exactly what you did kid, it was totally your loss.