Random Thought

Fri, 09/06/2013 - 22:35 -- Deezy

I’m stuck in a place with white faces and a black backdrop, green trees and blue skies. Trying my very best to find a place to fit in, only to find that I stick out. Reading books written by white people, yet you want to understand the black perspective. You want to take a peek into my world but you’re scared to step into this place, filled with real emotions, true issues and a food stamp card. Dilapidated houses, broken homes, fatherless children, single mothers and rap music. That’s all you think we consist of isn’t? You see some may call me ignorant, while others will call me lucky being able to grow up in a place where color was never an issues because everyone looked like you and then you get to college and you look around wondering what the fuck is up, in a room of 35 I’m one, in class room of 10 I am one, the one that they ask questions, observe and try their best to figure out. Accommodating, twisting, turning, and bending over backwards toning myself down just build you up. Remembering I grew up in a place where people looked like me, acted like me, talk liked me, yet I was different. I was odd then, and they told me I acted white and talk that way too because I reached out to grab the dream I was after, my dream now turned into reality, here I am and I’m just a bit too black to handle, too loud, too boisterous, and I guess I have too much to say, so you stopped listening, this must be how a Dalmatian feels, a white dog with black spots, help me understand where it is I belong too, because I don’t fit here with you, yes color is an issue but I never assumed it would be a problem. Being the one thing that continues to change in an environment consistently filled with bullshit. Could you handle this? Now we could pretend that you understand or you could just admit that you don’t know. You can call me controversial, tell me I do things that are a bit taboo, but what does any of that have to do with you, when did it become your concern to worry about me, my body or what I do with it. Did I say something to make you mad or did you decide to just shut the fuck up, because you realized that my actions will speak louder than my words and I’m not talking as much. I’m stuck in a place with white faces and I serve as the black back drop, the things I’m about to do will certainly make your heart drop. Treating this place as a blank canvas because I’m about to paint this whole town red.          

 

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