Prayer Time
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray for eyes that do not weep
sweep sweep
sweep away the dust of cries
banging to come out of that deep dark closet door in the back of my heart so my pain can be free
the eye at the back of my throat has swallowed the key to that closet door
all in hunger of a better life from what it has seen
the motivation of the struggle tuning in my ear as I sip my bodega coffee down the streets of the bronx
thanks tupac
oh and my def jam poetry tape on repeat
you soothe my soul and give it wings and convince me i’m actually flying above this bullshit
and somewhere along that subway ride I stare at the reflections I see off the d train windows
reflections of the tons of people that left their souls back at home still in their beds dreamin’ of the life they imagined as a child
instead their bodies sit lifeless in that orange seat while they listen to their motivation of the struggle
i pray how i am thankful for my two therapist
mary jane and bob, no health insurance needed
and for the trash along side of the streets
always reminding me that this is a dirty world whenever i get too gullible
most of all i pray for all the metrocards
that have told me see the agent
and when i see that mf he gives me the i don’t know what to tell you look …
making me question my sanity and dignity at the same damn time
hop or not eat
hop or not pay rent
hop or not live
you can’t feel me if mta never robbed you of a whole weeks fare
and all this just to get to work
i’m a grown ass women
the roaches that own my apt in the dark and disappear when the lights come on after a long day reminding me that i’m not as clean as the sweat and tears i put into mopping these floors and cleaning the cracks of my counters til the paint comes off
and it’s okay to ear hustle to the arguments jose has with his wife next door for relationship lessons when you live in the projects and listen to someone else’s reggae because you can’t listen to your own all because you share a studio with a stranger thats sleep when your not and all you want to do is groove on this friday night for free because your too broke to go out
just to get by
and eventually you learn to appreciate these things
because in the struggle there are no how to books
it’s just this
and you learn from it …