Prayer Time

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray for eyes that do not weep

sweep sweep

sweep away the dust of cries

banging to come out of that deep dark closet door in the back of my heart so my pain can be free

the eye at the back of my throat has swallowed the key to that closet door

all in hunger of a better life from what it has seen

the motivation of the struggle tuning in my ear as I sip my bodega coffee down the streets of the bronx

thanks tupac

oh and my def jam poetry tape on repeat

you soothe my soul and give it wings and convince me i’m actually flying above this bullshit

and somewhere along that subway ride I stare at the reflections I see off the d train windows

reflections of the tons of people that left their souls back at home still in their beds dreamin’ of the life they imagined as a child

instead their bodies sit lifeless in that orange seat while they listen to their motivation of the struggle

i pray how i am thankful for my two therapist

mary jane and bob, no health insurance needed

and for the trash along side of the streets

always reminding me that this is a dirty world whenever i get too gullible

most of all i pray for all the metrocards

that have told me see the agent

and when i see that mf he gives me the i don’t know what to tell you look …

making me question my sanity and dignity at the same damn time

hop or not eat

hop or not pay rent

hop or not live

you can’t feel me if mta never robbed you of a whole weeks fare

and all this just to get to work

i’m a grown ass women

the roaches that own my apt in the dark and disappear when the lights come on after a long day reminding me that i’m not as clean as the sweat and tears i put into mopping these floors and cleaning the cracks of my counters til the paint comes off

and it’s okay to ear hustle to the arguments jose has with his wife next door for relationship lessons when you live in the projects and listen to someone else’s reggae because you can’t listen to your own all because you share a studio with a stranger thats sleep when your not and all you want to do is groove on this friday night for free because your too broke to go out

just to get by

and eventually you learn to appreciate these things

because in the struggle there are no how to books

it’s just this

and you learn from it …


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