The POWER of my VOICE

A shuddering whisper falls off my lips
No purpose, no power, its Tall useless
To fearful to lift my voice
But knowing all too well I have no choice

All just stand around idly
Some in stunned surprise
Some eager to see what will arise
And some, just like me,
Wanting to try to speak up, but voice falling sadly

I hate them
Why are they just standing there, doing nothing, I think hypocritically

Twenty, thirty people gathered
Tension suffocating the air
Only moments ago were people buzzing like bees in a hive
Where did all that energy go
Why are all as still as statues, I say in my head knowing I'm doing he same

My mind is reeling, chains churning, gears grinding, confliction rising

Staying silent is the safe choice
no stress, no mess
Don't attract attention
Be invisible
Stay invisible I chant over and over and over and over again
My mantra for the moment

And yet…
Oh ever so yet
I find myself opening and closing my mouth
Trying to speak
Trying to from a coherent sentence that can not only be used as a weapon but a shield

SPEAK
A voice says in my head
It's not my voice
Or it is and I don't recognize it
It has something I obviously am lacking
Purpose, power, sense of self
This voice seem to know who it is
Who its talking to, and what it wants to say

I don't like it
It wants me to do something I'm incapable of
It wants me to open this mouth of mine and use my dusty, quiet voice

No
I'd rather stay quiet, I think
And yet…
Damn that yet
I can't stop listening to the voice
SPEAK
SPEAK
SPEAK
SPEAK

YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO SAY WHEN THE TIME COMES
What are you talking about, the time is now and my mind is a blank slate

THE WORDS WILL FLOW FOR ALL TO HEAR
My voice is too soft, to quiet, I can't

FOR ALL TO LISTEN AND LEARN
No one will listen to me, why would they, I have nothing to say

ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS SPEAK
I can't

DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH AND WAIT FOR THE MOMENT TO PASS
Someone else can handle it, someone with a louder voice, someone with a purpose, someone with a sense of self

SPEAK
No
SPEAK
I can't
SPEAK
I'm scared
OF WHAT
Of everything, being judged, not making a difference, changing

I like hate how I am but its safe
I like being safe

SAFE IS A LIE
YOU CAN BE JUDGED FOR DOING NOTHING, FOR NOT MAKING A DIFFERENCE, FOR NOT CHANGING
WHEN YOU ARE SAFE TOUR ARE DEFENSELESS
SPEAK

Fine I say to the voice, if someone doesn't say anything in the next five seconds, I shall, but if my life descends to chaos you must get me out of it
I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE

5
Everyone still uselessly idling

4
Tension still thick and suffocating

3
Bodies still as frozen as a statue

2
Still no one speaking, lips sealed like a volt

1
Damn it

I take a deep, shuddering breath
A word I don't understand plummet from my lips and dies soon after

I try again and all I hear is a intelligent mumble

I continue to attempt to say something but only on the sixth try did something properly come out

I lift my voice and let the words flow out of me

Powerful, purposeful, identifiably ME

I speak for those you can't
I speak for those who won't
But more so, I speak for myself
For what I believe in, despite the fear
That is the POWER of my VOICE

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community
Our world
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

Comments

Racheal lapite

Thank you all for reading, who ever read this.

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