Pondering on the thought of what it means to be…
I hide my face behind… “ur so…” and “i love your..”
But not “i am”
I bend mercilessly at the thought of rising above rejecting street lights
To follow the empty pattern of what it could mean
With no promise of absolute guarantee
I can never say the word
In return for a word that you would like for me to say
And If i did say the word it would explain a lot, but i don't
And i carry that wherever i go
As plain is my pain
And pain is another's fear
But even when i get this way i can’t recognize myself
Then again What exactly is this way and why is it that way?
I can feel myself breaking down
Going into a direction that leads to obscurity and an ostentatious way of seeing myself
When i look in the mirror i look “fine”
But that image doesn’t reside in me forever
If anything it's quite homeless
When i look at the world I feel sick
Not for which you think because it's not you its me
And what I think i look like away from the safety of that mirror
And when i'm not looking at all i feel safe
Trapped within my fascination of the creation of my own individuality
And I admire yours too
In fact im jealous
Because you're so…..
I mean I love your….
I am…..
What am I??