Poetry Saved Me From Myself

There comes too many times

In life when 

A grave mistake has been made

Intentionally or un-

And it seems nothing can be done

To correct the wrong.

 

Voices build up at night,

Self-scolding 

Self-deprecating 

Self-abusing 

Self-hurting

Telling yourself 

Something should have been said differently 

Something should have been done differently 

Something should have been different.

You should be different.

You shouldn’t be you.

You are the wrong that cannot be fixed.

 

They lash out, don’t back down

The inner critic keeps you alert.

Cringing at memories of the past

Cheeks turning red from embarrassment  

Grabbing at blankets, at pillows, at sheets

And sinking lower and lower, cowering away. 

But you cannot escape by going inward 

You cannot be inside your own mind

—Not in this head space. 

 

You lie awake still

Trying to give up, to surrender

To make reality go away.

And when your brain can take no more

You grab anything to write 

And you write 

And you write 

And you release

And take comfort 

Within the words.

 

Release the stress

Release the tension

Release the criticism

Realease the hate

Rid your mind 

Of any voice that does not love,

That does not treat you with respect. 

Any voice that cannot give you

The allowance that comes with being imperfect,

— With being human.

 

Because writing 

Is more than an escape.

It is freedom.

 

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