Poetry Saved Me From Myself
There comes too many times
In life when
A grave mistake has been made
Intentionally or un-
And it seems nothing can be done
To correct the wrong.
Voices build up at night,
Self-scolding
Self-deprecating
Self-abusing
Self-hurting
Telling yourself
Something should have been said differently
Something should have been done differently
Something should have been different.
You should be different.
You shouldn’t be you.
You are the wrong that cannot be fixed.
They lash out, don’t back down
The inner critic keeps you alert.
Cringing at memories of the past
Cheeks turning red from embarrassment
Grabbing at blankets, at pillows, at sheets
And sinking lower and lower, cowering away.
But you cannot escape by going inward
You cannot be inside your own mind
—Not in this head space.
You lie awake still
Trying to give up, to surrender
To make reality go away.
And when your brain can take no more
You grab anything to write
And you write
And you write
And you release
And take comfort
Within the words.
Release the stress
Release the tension
Release the criticism
Realease the hate
Rid your mind
Of any voice that does not love,
That does not treat you with respect.
Any voice that cannot give you
The allowance that comes with being imperfect,
— With being human.
Because writing
Is more than an escape.
It is freedom.