You can sense the recurrent feeling
Of regret starting to boil in your belly
as she pulls away and looks at you
With sad eyes. The same eyes that
Were smiling at you just moments
Earlier. You always manage to screw
Things up, don’t you? As soon as you
Did it you wished you hadn’t. And for
The life of you, you can’t figure out why
You did it in the first place. But that’s always
The story, isn’t it? Every time you don’t
Know why, and every time you apologize
And promise it won’t happen again. But
‘I’m sorry’ means less and less every time
You say the words. You wish you could go
Back and undo it more with every second
As you hear her tell you ‘it’s okay’ in a voice
That says it’s really not. You hate yourself.
Why can’t you treat her better? You say you will.
You want to. So why don’t you be what she deserves?
You want to be. You try so hard to be. But you
Always fall short, don’t you? And the reality that
You’ll never live up to what she needs keeps you
Awake at night and makes the cut that much deeper
When she starts to notice it, too. You’re losing her
And you know it. So you do everything you can to
keep her as long as possible, but everything you do
Seems to push her farther away. You wonder if you’re
Trying too hard, or if you’re just fighting an ultimately
Losing battle. But none of that matters. You love her.
You love her with all your heart and you’re not going
To let her down again. You’ll do better from now on.
You won’t hurt her anymore… At least you’ll try…