I’m the girl with many words

I’m the girl that never speaks

 

I’ve heard my friends, my companions say

“I know I know what I want to say

But try and try as hard as I may

I cannot find the word

To tell of the way my thoughts have spurred

I cannot find the means

To tell you of my dreams

I cannot make the letters form

Statements to describe my inner storm

 

And I get it, I do

I really, really do…

But I don’t get it

You see, I’ve never had to admit defeat

Not when it comes to this

Letter, words, and statements have always been my bliss

And though this I do cherish

Sometimes I wished the gift to parish

 

As for my fear lies not in the formation of the thought

No, thoughts I form by the lot

No, my fear lies in what comes next

As I stand stressed and vexed

Thinking, thinking, and overthinking

Yet never once speaking

The thoughts I stand overthinking

 

I fear saying what I think

For fear I may accidentally unlink

All the thoughts I hold inside

While I grip dearly at my pride

 

And it’s hard, hard to let go

To stand in this plateau

Where you know what to say

But that’s a game you don’t want to play

Because if you open your mouth

In your head, at least, things will quickly go south

 

They’ll know you’re not perfect

Or, at least, they’ll suspect

Because perfect doesn’t hurt

Perfect doesn’t avert

To something less than perfect

Perfect doesn’t cry

Perfect doesn’t lie

Perfect should be perfect

 

But perfect isn’t me

It took a long time to see

But it turns out I'm not perfect

I can't always be what they expect

I'm too broken

I'm too fallen

No, I'm not perfect

I make too many mistakes

Through them, I’ve learned to take breaks

And breaks I needed to clear my mind

And this is how I realized I had been blind

For I had words to utter

That I wrote in pages length’s worth of a kilometer

Yet I held back for fear of saying something wrong

For fear they may have realized I wasn’t that strong

How stupid of me to reach for perfection,

A word that itself will never reach perfection

 

I was the girl with many words

I was the girl that never spoke

I’m now the girl with many words

I’m now the girl that always speaks