Out of all that makes me happy,
I include scenarios I make in my head.
The stories I dream, thinking at night,
Laying alone in my bed.
If you haven’t done this, give it a shot,
Life is so perfect and free,
When I am the one in control for a change,
Things are how I want them to be.
I dream about that one conversation,
That goes so well with a guy.
He laughs and agrees with whatever I say,
It’s like I don’t even try.
Or I play around with my future,
And what is to come in my life.
I see my kids and my husband,
And me as a happy wife.
I think about competing tomorrow,
I am running in first place
I feel no pain, of course,
Since it’s not an actual race.
After thinking through everything,
With everything working out,
I realize that it’s not what I want,
It’s not what life is about.
Life’s about making mistakes,
And succeeding anyway,
Because I know things happen with reason,
And those reasons make things okay.
What makes me happy in the end,
Is not being in control.
But knowing there is someone who is,
Who watches and keeps my soul.