They're all laughing,
And discovering each other
While I watch,
Powerless to the inescapable choking
That comes with the sight of people.
I'm a storm of feelings,
A hurricane of thoughts,
But on the surface I am tranquil,
Nearly expressionless.
It is a gift I was given,
An ability I was forced to learn.
Show them your colors,
And they vomit a rainbow with you.
I remain White.
I don't want to feel Blue again.
I don't want the heat of Red.
I offer nothing,
They give nothing back.
It took so long to perfect this craft,
To be alive,
But seem dead.
So perfect to be
An enigma to some.
So perfect, it seemed,
When they no longer had material
With which they could deface me.
But now I can't tame this power.
It has engrained itself in me.
Speech isn't primary,
Connection is secondary.
I muted the world to protect me,
But I only hurt myself.
Now I watch everyone connect.
They feed off each other
Like tongues of fire,
And I regret that I can't burn.
They'll judge me if I open up,
And they will if I don't.
I never understood people,
And they never understood me.
That was the point of my arrangement.
And it's good.
Disastrously good.
Living in a world of solitude,
Tied to nothing.
Yet I still feel a pull.


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