The Pain

The pain of 

Missing you is
Not only a mental pain
Or an emotional one..
But a physical pain.
 
Pounding my head,
Weakening my knees,
And everything else in between;
Useless,
Void,
Achey and 
Sad.
 
The pain of missing you is
Every day I wish 
I'll still love you in the
Future.
So that way
Those love songs,
Where the singer cries about still
Loving her for years,
Even after all this time,
After all the shit
She put him
Through,
And he stands tall in his belief:
He keeps his promise,
To love her
Until the day the stars
Burned out,
Until the sky 
falls to the ground,
Until the mountain
Crumbles to the sea.
Until the end
Of time.
 
And years later,
She's treated him
Like an object,
A chore,
A responsibility,
A right, NOT
A privilege,
To be with. 
 
I was just
Another prize 
to be won.
 
I'm nothing to you now,
But Jesus fucking Christ 
You're still everything to me. 
You still have that fucking power over me. 
And I hate myself every day because of it. 
I wish 
I had never dated you.
You were a better friend 
Than you were a girlfriend.
 
I wish I had at least 
your platonic attention
Instead of no attention at all.
I wish I had at least,
You - here as my peer,
Than here as My ex girlfriend 
 
But fuck you. 
It's your loss anyway.
The sea (or dating pool?) just gained
An angel swimming amongst them...
And honey, 
It ain't you. 
 
 
 
This poem is about: 
Me

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