"You have beautiful eyes" is what she hears 

"and a wonderful smile" as her lips pull into a crescent shape across her face

as she hopes to herself that they believe the lie she has conjured in the form of a grin

but buried deep inside, if you are persistent enough to find, are

scars

too deep to fade away

cut deep into her flesh by words: sharp blades 

words that stung her thighs

her arms

words that spilled from her eyes into a jumble that she ravaged through to find

this

she created a mask using letters from the syntax of hate and 

her philosophies 

build from the ceiling down

from the shards

of memories comes conspiracies 

backwards

evol 

if you say a word too many times the meaning of it slips silently from your mind

like he slipped out of the window as the moon rose with 

someone else

She has created a mask of laughter 

and she feeds off it like a parasite 

it suffocates a section of the fire that burns in the pit of her stomach 

she hides her pain behind her humor like the moon hides behind clouds

few know that it is there and even fewer care enough to look

but what is beyond is not what it seems 

it is so much more

it is 

depression