One, two, three, four
As I count the waves of the rock l threw on the water
Left me experiencing peace in a river next to a small cottage
Then I hear your voice calling me inside

I enter our kitchen, clean and spotless
I see you making us some nice cup of coffee
A black one for you, and a sweet one for me
Just how we like it.

Peace. My mind told me. Peace.
I wrap my arms around your waist from behind
Digging my head on your back, my skin against your sweater
Smiling, as I realized I've achieved my utopia.

But as amazing as that sounds,
it's just a little fantasy in my head.
A dream I could never achieve because before I will reach it, you'll throw me away eventually.
Just like how the others have.

It hurts to want something you can't have.
It's better to run away now than to feel neglected.
Even if I still love you and you love me.
It's better than loving you and you unloving me.

My mind starts to become distorted
I feel instantly dead, darkness overwhelming me.
Bittersweet.