Osmosis

My body is like a cell.

I don’t mean that it’s made up of cells.

Everyone who tooks biology knows that.

And everyone who took biology also knows

That some cells are semi-permeable.

I am a semi permeable cell.

And the layers of my body are all layers of the cell.

Membranes that the parts of me try to get through.

 

On the outside,

I don’t give a single donkey’s rear what anyone thinks of me.

On the outside, I dress and wear makeup for me

I speak for me

On the outside.

 

A single layer in,

I’m stressed and irritable

On the outside, I’m mature and Mom-ish

But I’m strangely child-like

A single layer in.

 

A second layer in,

I’m a perfectionist and a planner.

A single layer in I’m megaphone, a leader and a guiding hand

But I’m quiet, insecure, and lost

A second layer in.

 

On the inside

I’m hopelessly confused, bumbling around in the dark of my insides.

On the inside, I’m trapped in this version of me I don’t want to be

I don’t speak of the me

That’s inside.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741