Every time you tag me in a post I want to rip out my eyes.
You always take pictures which is great when those pictures aren't of me.
You see, when I see a picture of myself
I want to tear off my face so you won't want to take pictures of it.
I want to peel back the layers of my skin until you see what I see
Cause when I see a picture of myself
I wonder if you'll put it on the memory board at my funeral.
I wonder if you'll still love it then or if you'll hate it cause you'll realize that's not me.
When you try to relate your life to mine I wanted to crawl out of my skin.
I wanted to disappear and only leave my skin behind because to me that's all I am.
When you said that you thought we wouldn't miss you if you died.
All I could think about is how pretty you would look in black standing over my casket.
When I said depression sucked and you said something about me making it a bigger deal than it really was
I didn't love you less but I was hurt.
I was so hurt that I didn't say anything back to you.
Maybe I should have because every time I think about it
I can still feel the sharpness of your words in my chest.
I know you must think I wrote this poem to paint you as a monster on the canvas of my life but I didn't.
I wrote this poem to paint you a picture of me
One that I wouldn't want to burn in the fires of hell
One that you couldn't share on Facebook.
But one that you can hold in the palm of your hand.
And know this... this is me.