One Year More
Location
The gloves pinch my skin in the best places
The tips of my fingers
Almost covered
With enough space for a secret to slip through
While I try not to breathe
Blow away this evidence
I have worked so hard to collect
And dry-slide into semi-permanence
The gym floor rocks with each tread
I can hear how heavy each step I take is
Each thunck reverberating around this abandoned space
Eventually someone comes in
To set up cones for the class that will come to take
My thinking hold
My shoulders tight from holding my book as I walk
Around, around, around
Losing count of the laps that pass beneath the pages
The drip–drop of my damp hair on my legs
As my family kneels in the morning
Arming us for the day ahead
With angels
The cold sweetly eats my arms
As the leather engine rumbles under my feet
My sister dragging just a little longer
So the car will be warm when she makes the dash from the door
To where I am waiting
To drive to our early class
Where she will smile
And I will show my stone face
Where someone will break our joke of a façade
Down the middle
Shattering it into what I really feel
Sometimes back onto stone
Or pillows, or hiccups from laughing instead of breathing
The chemical imbalance too much for six in the morning
The days when the sun shines during Lunch
And we should drink Vitamin D from the air
Storing it for February when we will eat discount chocolate the 15th
Without a significant other to share with, the coconut cream sticking to fingers
That no longer slide into gloves
The sugar halting our work in its well-laid trail
We are teenagers pretending
For one more year that nothing can overtake us
We will be in control
Always
What we want we can get with hard work
And a piece of cake to our favorites with a wink
Waiting for our destinies to waltz in the door
Dressed to the nines for our lives
The ones in our heads
Where we conquer the problems
And enslave the world to a better purpose
To which it willingly goes
Leaders in disguise
Skipping a day for tradition
Under our sweats and hoodies
Our ties and blazers happy to stay hidden
Days fly past with all the blatant innocence
The guilty can hold
Holding out for a day when we will stop
And realize we never should have come
But couldn’t have stayed
The ache that comes with unshed tears of
Hope, Loneliness, Fear of the Future
And the unbidden echo of joys long since past that will stay
In these walls long after we are gone