One Year

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I can’t believe it’s already been a year.

Making it this far has always been my biggest fear.

I didn’t think I could do it,

But I improved bit by bit.

The world used to seem so fake.

Just a pile of lies built by mistake.

People are the cause of its state,

The world is run by tragedy and hate.

 

The news only portrays the dark side of life,

No longer do we know what is right.

Nor does anyone care.

They don’t give a damn for what’s just or fair.

Why live in a world so lost?

I didn’t think I had the will to pay the cost.

All the world’s horrors were stamping me down.

Hell was where I was bound.

 

Too tired I was to slowly die.

Cuts and drugs wouldn’t work so I didn’t try. 

I didn’t have scars on my skin.

The scars went so much deeper in.

They bore in so deep,

My mind wouldn’t even let me sleep.

My soul had not shattered yet,

But its collapse was an imminent threat.

 

I couldn’t stand to become a shell.

The day I gave up was the day I fell.

My life was ready for the taking,

Those powerful thoughts kept me shaking.

However something kept me around.

My mother,

My father,

My friends,

Kept me above the ground.

 

My self pitied sorrow was so weak,

Compared to their surreal compassion’s true peak.

Their smiles fed my heart,

The words of encouragement were the best part.

There support was so astounding and unreal.

Not many people have that pleasure to feel.

I owed it to them to give my life another shot.

So I sought out real help and fought.

 

Depression is the hardest enemy I’ll ever have to face.

Beating that bastard to the finish is always a race.

I thought I couldn’t win.

But one man convinced me to not give in.

Depression I can’t kill.

But I can control it with my will.

 

The world will always be a scary place.

Sometimes it feels so crowded I can’t even see a friendly face.

Good has a tendency to hide.

Evil is so prominent because it has so much pride.

I hate to let those negatives consume.

The time for positivity must resume.  

I need to give this strange world a chance.

I need to break from this depressing trance.

 

My life was given back.

No gratitude did I lack.

Everyday can still be a battle.

My thoughts still make my brain rattle.

The issues are always the same,

Now I have the ability to tame.

 

Anger still flows with my blood,

It weighs me down like thick mud.

Sadness still continues to rape,

Its effect hangs over me like a drape.

Loneliness is still my greatest enemy and friend,

Its influence makes me bend.

 

It’s still the same me.

Only this time I’m fighting to be free.

I’ve been broken down,

But I no longer let the sea of regret drown.

 

It’s been one damn long year,

But I’m happy to say I’m still here.

 

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