One Day

I am fighting my corner
pushing against walls that will always be stronger
and punching bricks that do nothing but make me bleed
so I get frustrated
screaming at the top of my lungs
ejecting my wretched soul from the dark places you do not see
like the path my tears took before I covered it up with makeup
and the scars on my jaw that I am forever insecure about.

Why God, do I have to spend 30 minutes in the mirror
judging myself the way I know others do?
I said Why God, was I born in skin this dark
constantly being told "don't marry anyone darker than you
or your child will be made fun of?"
I said Why God was I born a female?
That everytime I hear about rape I regret my existence
and I am re-blinded to the blessings of womanhood?

Do not mistake these desperate questions for ungratefulness.
I do not doubt the plans you have set out for me God.
I just wish I had heavenly insight and endless understanding
to see beyond my flaws and circumstances
to continue playing with the cards I've been dealt
even when I feel like the world is cheating
to bandage up these blistered knuckles and know that one day
it will seem like nothing to move walls
when I am moving mountains.


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