When i first looked into your eyes
they reminded me of the warmth i felt every time
I took a sip of coffee with my favorite hazelnut creamer
couldn't ignore that your looks,
didn’t give you a free pass to manipulate and lie to me.
Saying you cared about me and showing me otherwise
It mimicked the time when my parents said "i love you"
But behind closed doors I’d hear shatters and screams
Threatening everything i knew and thought about what it meant to be
In a healthy relationship;
It consists of a touch so soft
Consensual with trust
That could have us glowing like the moon at dusk
It does not consist of
Having me surrounded by dead roses
Repeating i love you i love you not
Because i love you
But you love me not
Or maybe you do?
No clue as to how I keep letting you degrade and berate me.
Telling me I’m not good enough, yet simultaneously trying to control me.
I thought I was in a healthy relationship
Yet you were as rotten as the carrots, spinach, and raspberries
I left in my fridge
We were in this together for weeks, months, years
Yet you only caused me to decay.
And in a healthy relationship,
Loving each other,
Trusting me completely as I trust you
Will be a reality for me.
And when that day comes,
I’ll say to someone new
“Because I love you
I’ll offer my hand to hold
Even when we struggle in the cold
And we’ll build each other up
To be strong and independent individuals.
and for you and I to understand what it
truly means to work in tandem
will be the reason as to why
we will become