If Zeus sends one more “picture” I think I might be done.
I swear I’ll give up dating an Olympian!

Artemis stopped trying, and I really do see why;

All of these potential dates just make me what to cry.

Ares is a maniac, Dionysus is a cheat,
Hestia, please stop telling me you gave up eating meat!
 

Hera wants a family, like right exactly now.
Apollo really seems to think he’s ‘holier than thou’.

My friends, they like to tell me, there’s ‘plenty of fish in the sea’
But Poseidon smells like tuna, so that’s a no from me.

Is it really so hard, really? To post a picture of a face? 

I couldn’t give two drachmas about your chariot race.

My feed is full of idiots, demigods...and Zeus;

Whoever showed him instragram is deserving of a noose.