Oh my how dark it is
My world
My day
My night
All so dark
Where is my light?

I you see suffer from not one but 3 mental disorders
All make my life out of order
I have the help of meds
But, I so want to be rid of those pills
I you see am filled with a burden
One that there is no escape
One that spirals out of control
What 3 do I have?
Am I free?
No
No, Not yet

What do I have?
I have 3
I have ADHD
I have Social Phobia
I have a severe mood disorder for I don’t know the name of
It’s a freight train
Come to knock my lights out
The Social phobia unbearable
The ADHD undesirable
The mood disorder unbelievable
All three here since I was 5

I suffer yes I do
But not when I take my meds
But oh how I want to be free
I want to place knives
Into these disorders and make them flee
Flee from me
From my mind
From my soul

Alas I know it won’t
I have them
These 3
For a deed
A duty for me to take hold of
A challenge to conquer
I don’t regret having these 3
No sir-e

Oh my how dark it is
But oh how light it is
Once I realized there is no getting away
No place to stay
Far away from these 3
I embraced them

Then a magnificent thing happened
I saw light
My world
My day
My night
All engulfed in light
Engulfed in joy
Oh what a delight

You see it’s not so bad
Once you embrace them
Once you stop fighting
And start inviting
Inviting what you ask?
Why inviting ideas of course
What ideas?
Why the idea that there is no escape from these disorders
No amount of medicine makes these disorders disappear completely
The medicine is like a pain killer
It takes your symptoms away until it’s time for your next dose of your meds
You can’t flee
It will always be there
It’s a part of you
A not so pretty part
But it makes you who you are

So don’t live in your dark world
Live in the light
The light of knowing that there is no fleeing
There is only knowing
Why it may be hard
You can still be strong and get through the day
Don’t give up
Don’t give up I say

I didn’t give up
I am still trying to conquer all three
To have a peace installed inside me
I am half way there
I am slowly coming off meds
I am almost there
Those 3 will still be there
But those monsters will lie dormant
Dormant where?
Inside my caged wall
Where it shall bother me no more