sterilize the groceries 

before they come in the house

and the air

before anyone breathes it in

and my feelings too, just in case

 

numbers wobbling on the tv,

indecisive and unsure of themselves

just a flicker, up, up quicker

up, up sicker

 

“don’t hold your breath”

but the whole thing was

one sudden gasp and then 

three years of mouth closed

mask on, more distance

 

oh to be a child again

in a world not dying, not lying

to grow, uninterrupted

into the flesh and fear

of a seventeen year old

without six feet

bound to the front of my shoes

without six feet of space

between me and myself