Ode to a Dragonborn Mary Sue

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 14:14 -- jswaney


United States
39° 58' 15.3372" N, 87° 19' 17.3676" W

I speak to the dead,
After I have wasted three and ninety lockpicks
Just to get a potato out of a long forgotten box.
How is it not rotten?
I really need to get to Whiterun but
Lydia blocks me in the hallway.
How is it that I can kill a dragon, but I am
Completely unable to push this woman out of the way?
I have a basic knowledge of magic,
But somehow I lead the Wizard's College.
I have killed three contracts, but somehow, I lead
The Dark Brotherhood
I failed at pickpocketing,
And yet I lead the Thieves Guild.
I accidentally married some woman with really stupid makeup.
Man, I suck.


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