OCD

My eyes flick back and forth between the pictures to remind me I am safe
To remind me who I am
One two three
One two three
One two three
Watching a movie but my eyes aren't on the screen
They are flicking back and forth between the pictures
One two three
One two three 
One two three
One two three
Because I don't feel safe
I must counteract the bad thoughts
My life is just a repetition of cause and effect
How to counteract the bad
How to keep the demons away for just one more minute 
To keep the bad thoughts out of my head, if only for a moment
Its pointless
I've come to realize that
And sometimes I wonder if it's all real
If it's all in my head
Then I think 
Of course it is
Of course it is 
Of course it is
Its only in my head
So they can't see how it's killing me
They can't see that I am not controlling my body
I am not controlling my brain
Its not me
But it's been so long 
How do I know this isn't the real me
This is who I've become
A robot
Just going through the repetitive process of every day life
The never ending repetitions bombarding my brain and intruding upon my thoughts
Invading the peace
Disrupting the calm and quiet
Seeping deeper as I allow it to control me
As I let the compulsions move my arms and legs 
To combat the obsessions

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