not life's prize winner


she realized
she wasn't one
of life's prize winners like winning the nobel 
when she wasn't sure
life to her was some dark,deep
dirty secret that
like some unwanted child in whom was
too late for an abortion
was to be born
all alone

she had so many private habits
she would masturbate sometimes
she always screamed out loud when upset
she liked to sit with silence
in the dark
sadness is not an unusual state
for any woman
or writers

she drank her life away
a habit which displeased her
both for its effects
and taste
yet eventually sleep
would wrestle her in triumph
onto the bed

Guide that inspired this poem: 


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