i remember you girl, worn face

eyelash whipped,

whirlwind wonder-fuck.

 

i remember how you so delicately accepted me in,

how you so patiently waited for me to leave, and

how you so kindly wrote your name on my chest with a blade.

 

why do i still miss you when i am tired, girl

when will you leave my mind, girl,

and quit wonder-fucking my brain,

with plastic bags and pill bottles

 

girl, i remember you, spread out

all over the floor, that

broken screaming, bloody-eyed, bitch in my hair

 

i don't understand how someone could be so whiplashed by a handbag,

you know, i can't see myself in the mirror

if only you wouldn’t have dropped that bomb, girl

 

your smoke, it fills my lungs

breaks open my wrists and burns holes in a couch

that wasn’t ours.

 

i want your hands again, to be

clasped around my neck, toxins, back

in the air, girl

 

i’ll drink you up again, just ask.

please ask.

 

i want all that poison-wine filling my head, want it to drown the wrinkles in my brain

want it to slosh around,

melt me down, make me another smooth stone on your shore.

 

after all, i was just a grain of sand to you, wasn’t i?

 

all you did was make out with boys in the bar,

but you were the bar and i couldn’t get in

your brain is a fist and you keep beating me.

you tell me to fight back but all i see is your glass smile, painted with glass shards, girl,

you are already broken.