No More Silence

I silence myself to stall the tears. I silence myself so I can hear the details. I close my eyes to hide from the world. Cause in my own mind my eyelids are like window blinds, preventing the sun from shining and seeping into my inner thoughts. Dont think that beautiful star could handle such freight. And how selfish would I be to dim that light.I silence myself so I won't scream cause truth be told sometimes I hate being me. They see this smile that never fades. They hear the laughter filled with joy. They think its grand to live my life. But they can't seem to see the interal fight. I silence myself from the fear. The fear of judgement.  As my thoughts reflect I can't help but to reject the notion of what I used to be. It continues to scare me. I wish those blinds could shut a lil bit tighter and  stop the hot tears that stream down my cheek.
I'm great
I'm smart
I'm caring
I'm loving
I'm honest
I'm brilliant
I rehearse it until I believe it even just a lil bit. I silence myself to the point I forget how to speak words.

But I inhale and exhale and slowly those words return. My soul and my heart irn for the one that says yes I see you yes I feel you, I hear your whispers in the dark. These blinds of mines are hiding so much pain. I peal them open, wiping the dried up crust as if it was dust on a window pane. The warmth for that big beautiful star is like an inferno but lets me know its gonna be okay.
I'm great
I'm smart
I'm caring
I'm loving
I'm honest
I'm brilliant
I rehearse it until I'm blue in the face, I believe it, I believe it ! Finally Someone sees you someone feels you someone hears you. It's been me all along. Those tears don't fall those blinds are wide open. There is no more silence. The whispers continue as my inner voices reassure me that the love I have for me is like no other. That the love I have for me shouldn't be swiped under a cold cover. The love I have for me should be heard.As I inhale and exhale my soul is feel with so much pleasure. Those eyelids of blinds shielded when I needed them to, those eyelids of mines enabled me to turn hurt into strength, those eyelids are kind they allowed me to find myself. So when you hear my loud voice booming through the hallway, and sounding like a siren in the grocery store you'll know why. No more silence.

Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

JazmineC

The best part about this poem is being able to express myself.

I know there are others who could possibly feel how I feel and it just shows that

the only person who needs your approval is you, and  that's the key in going through

life without going completely insane.

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