“Who are you?”, they asked.
Well, I’m Kyra of course.
My name, meaning light, comes from Greek origin.
I don’t quite remember.
But it’s a little contradictory, isn’t it?
I’ve never really been the most optimistic person.
And my skin color; well most wouldn’t really consider that light.
It has become one of the main reasons why I felt left out in my classes,
of a school located in a place I’m supposed to call my hometown.
I’m an anxious person.
Nothing is ever done the way I want it
Nothing is ever done fast enough
It can always be better.
But I’m also a fantastic procrastinator.
So I guess I’m a paradox in itself.
I’m a hypocrite.
I give fantastic advice that I can never take myself.
I can build you up twice as tall to make up for the piece of shit I believe myself to be.
Sometimes I fight with this voice in my head.
It’s like a different person
I refuse to give her a name though
Then she becomes real
Names make people real
Because without a name, you’re just flesh in a box taking up space
I can never keep friends for too long.
Apparently I’m afraid of commitment.
I’m pretty sure it’s just an excuse I like to tell myself.
I tell myself lots of excuses
I seem to like justifying why things don’t work out.
It helps keep the voice quiet.
And simply failing isn’t a good enough reason
Nothing is ever a good enough reason though
Regardless of what I do, you’re never actually satisfied
and I hate myself for letting it get this far,
I should really stop apologizing
Sometimes I get distracted
Sometimes my thoughts jumble together and fight for space in my head
And then the voice gets louder
And I can never judge which thought to let out so they come out all at once
I say things I don’t want to
But they’re there so they might as well come out right?
Basically I’m a typically teenager
With her share of fucked up problems and hatred for various parts of this world
I’m not much different than the rest of them
But the God I pray to says that I was created individually and perfect in his likeness
Or something like that.
Like I said, I’m not good at remembering things
I find that hard to believe sometimes
But it is what it is.
Apparently I’ve gone in an entirely different direction than when I started
I don’t really know how to end this damned thing now
I’m not really good at ending things
Just add that to the list